When we lose someone that is very near and dear to us, we are troubled by a solitary, perplexing question that we cannot answer, and it seems that no one else can give us a satisfactory response for it either. We all have the question, “WHY why did our loved one die?” It is a very natural question. Does it need to be this way? Does it need to be an unanswerable inquiry? I think not, and offer this reflection coming out of my own difficult experience facing the death of my Matushka ten years ago.
We all relate to God in three equivalent and identical ways. Some may call them by other names, but for the purpose this essay I will use the three that are the most logical to me. They are 1) the Wisdom of God, 2) the Love of God, and 3) the Mystery of God. Let us look at these three more deeply and see if it will be helpful in answering our “Why” question.
Before I continue, I understand that what I am saying does not bring back our loved one. It does not take away the pain of loss or the emptiness we feel because of it. I only write this because it helped me — and might help others—to understand what has happened and in some small way come to grips with the agony that comes with the loss of a loved one.
In a general way, we are always participating in these three modes of His being, even if we are unaware of it. They continue to exist and operate whether we acknowledge them or not. It is just that when we are talking about death, they are all the more acute, punctuated by the act of loss that has no equal in our world.